so my little brother currently attends a private school in virginia which prides itself as being “an independent, fundamentalist Baptist university.”

normally when one thinks of private universities, one may perhaps think of ivy league schools or specialized vocational colleges, but in most cases, private education is not usually far from an air of “prestige” and “bourgeois” if not because of the price tag that comes with it, because of the exclusivity that is often associated with such institutions.

being a graduate of a public institution myself, i was often curious of what is being taught in these private institutions that set them so apart from their public counterparts, and since my brother is currently finishing up his undergraduate studies there, i figured that now would be an opportune moment to perhaps compare and contrast the quality of education being provided in both schools.

my brother was given one of those practice exams to take home and study from which is actually the final exam from the previous semester/year, for his biology 101 class which i can only assume is the private school equivalent of “gen bio.” being curious as to what’s being taught in a private instituion’s gen bio class, i asked my brother to send me a .pdf copy of the test exam he’d been given to which he kindly obliged.

reading through the exam revealed that the content being taught in my brother’s bio class, for the most part, wasn’t all that different from what was being taught in my general bio class freshman year (it’s general bio, how different can it get?) but the quality between private and public was made clear in a minute but subtle way… actually, who am i joking… they were glaring made obvious to me in very disturbing, yet somewhat humorous ways.

the test, for example, contained normal bread-and-butter bio questions like these:

like any good elective bio class, his exam seemed to contain questions that don’t really require any formal knowledge of the subject but simply the use of common sense such as the above (given that a myriad of organisms don’t cohabitate or inhabit aquatic environments, it is painfully clear that the answer to the above question would be “c”);

and of course, like any moderately-challenging multiple choice exam should be, the exam also contained “brutal reality” questions, where you pick out one correct answer from a pool of many likely answers. (and the answer here, as it always is, is “c”)

the questions from the exam so far suggested that there was more or less parity between the quality of education between private and public institutions; at least i thought so until i turned the page to reveal this lovely surprise:

in case that’s too small for you to read, the question asks:

We said that Jesus and water both share some common characteristics: they are both_______.

to which students are expected to answer from the following choices:

a. Unique–there is no other like them
b. Indispensable–we can’t live without them
c. Metamorphic–they both are ever changing
d. both a and b

at this point, i was dumbstruck with awe for this shocking revelation; how could i have been so blind as not to see that jesus and water were two in the same? still shaking and trembling from my new discovery, i peeked even more carefully this time through the exam to see if any more of these hidden gems would be made known to me from this obviously superior education curriculum until i came across the following set of questions:

mind = blown.

addendum
i didn’t know if lucifer would be classified as a true life form or not (as opposed to “President Bush”, who obviously is not a true life form) so I asked my brother to shed some light on how to clasify him.

saudades さんの発言 (23:43):
wait
so is lucifer a true life form
or dead

Jay さんの発言 (23:43):
considered a person but not living

saudades さんの発言 (23:44):
is it bad that i find that hilarious

Jay さんの発言 (23:45):
well in the scientific sense he cant use energy

saudades さんの発言 (23:45):
what about jesus

Jay さんの発言 (23:45):
and he doesn’t have potential for physical growth, reproduction

Jay さんの発言 (23:46):
Jesus at a time was a physical living being
but then after the second coming I’m assuming he was not a living being but was a supernatural being

saudades さんの発言 (23:46):
wasn’t lucifer at one time physically living too
as an “angel of god”

Jay さんの発言 (23:46):
they don’t discuss theological biology in class

Jay さんの発言 (23:47):
but he still didn’t have potential for growth or reproduction