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October, 2009

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guilty

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the story

너는 뛰쳐나가 차문을 부술듯이 닫으면서
난 머리를 처박고 한숨쉬어 핸들을 안으면서
이런 광경이 너무 익숙해 이젠
왠만한 싸움에는 상처도 잘안나 이젠
명품 쇼핑할때처럼 너무 깐깐해 니 기준은
한번 화내면 뒷끝 장난아냐 적어도 2주는 가니까
난 성격이 너무 물러서
넌 항상 말해 남자니까 뒤로 좀 물러서
부담되 니가 내게 결혼을 보채는것도
난 달인처럼 대화화제를 돌리는 법도 많이 늘었어
넌 항상 추격하고 나는 도망쳐
솔직히 말할께 난 아직 준비 안됐어
지쳤어 조금 널 향한 사랑은 도금이
벗겨진 반지처럼 빛이 바랬어
오늘은 이별을 말해야될것같아
지겹거든 너랑 다툴때마다 항상하는 말

내가 죽일 놈이지 뭐 우리가 어긋 날때면
전부 내 탓 이지뭐 마치 죄인인것처럼
난 한걸음 물러서서 아무말도 안해
완벽한 너한테 난 항상 부족한 사람인걸

처음에 쉬웠어 너와 함께라는게
난 너를 위해 내 자신을 숨기고 또 지웠어
사랑에 취해 네게 기대고
너란 퍼즐에 날 억지로 맞춰 끼웠어
하지만 이젠 나 지쳤어
니가 만든 내게 난 숨이 막혀오는데
넌 점점 더 내게 바라는게 많아졌어
마찰이 잦아졌어 니가 사줬던
구두굽처럼 사랑이 닳아졌어
네 잔소리는 넥타이처럼
내 목을 조여서 날 얌전하게 만들었지
그래서 그게 좋아보였어
그때 내 속은 한참 뒤틀리고 꼬였어
지금 난 널 만나기전에 내가 너무 고파
이미 우리 사이 권태라는 벽은 너무 높아
내가 더 잘할께 잘할께하며 발악했던 나지만
오늘은 말할래 이것이 너와나의 마지막

내가 죽일 놈이지 뭐 우리가 어긋 날때면
전부 내 탓 이지뭐 마치 죄인인것처럼
난 한걸음 물러서서 아무말도 안해
완벽한 너한테 나 항상 부족한 사람인걸

내가 잘할께
내가 잘할께란 말 이제 두번 다시 안할께
이제 말 안할래
너를 사랑해란 말 이제 두번 다시 안할께
내가 잘할께
내게 잘해달란 말 이제 두번 다시 안할께
이제 말 안할래
그동안 참아왔던 이별을 오늘은 네게 말할래

내가 죽일 놈이지 뭐 우리가 어긋 날때면
전부 내 탓 이지뭐 마치 죄인인것처럼
난 한걸음 물러서서 아무말도 안해
완벽한 너한테 나 항상 부족한 사람인걸

You jumped out, slamming the car door behind you as if you wanted to break it
as I slam my head on the dash, sighing while grasping the handle;
It’s sad but, I’ve gotten used to all this now
to the point that us fighting doesn’t even hurt me any more
Your standards are as particular as a girl shopping for boutique
once you get angry I fear the end of it, it usually lasts at least two weeks
But I’m a little too naive,
it’s like you always say how guys should make way for women
It’s really stressful when you ask about marriage
but I’ve learned how to change the topic like I’m some sort of professional
You always chase and I always run,
to be honest I’m not really ready yet
I’m tired of it all — my love for you has lost its light
like a golden ring that’s slowly getting rusty
I think we have to break up today
because I can’t bare hearing myself say these words everytime we fight anymore:

I’m the guilty one every time we fight;
I guess it’s all my fault, so I’ll back off
as if I’m some sort of sinner.
I’m not good enough for someone so perfect as you

Being with you was so easy at first;
I hid and erased myself just for you.
I leaned on you as I became drunk with love
and forced myself into the puzzle called “you.”
But I’m sick of it all now,
I suffocate everytime I see the me you’ve created;
You keep wanting more from me,
and we’re even losing chemistry
Like the sole of the shoe you bought for me
our love wears out each minute
Your incessant nagging grabbed hold of my neck
and domesticated me like a tie;
That’s why I thought it was going good back then
but my world was shaking and tumbling inside of me.
The wall of ennui that stands between us is already too high
I know I used to cry “I’ll do better, I’ll do better”
But I’m telling you now, today’s going to be the last of us.

I’m the guilty one every time we fight;
I guess it’s all my fault, so I’ll back off
as if I’m some sort of sinner.
I’m not good enough for someone so perfect as you

I’ll do better
I won’t say “I’ll do better” ever again
I wont’ say it again
I won’t say the words “I love you” ever again
I’ll do better
I won’t ever ask you to “do better” ever again.
I wont’ say it again
I’ll finally say the goodbye I’ve been meaning to say to you today.

I’m the guilty one every time we fight;
I guess it’s all my fault, so I’ll back off
as if I’m some sort of sinner.
I’m not good enough for someone so perfect as you

Korean Pork Back Bone and Potatoes Casserole

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credit to haetssali for the recipe

Korean Pork Back Bone and Potatoes Casserole
감자탕 (Gamjatang)

Ingredients

Set A (Base Ingredients)
1kg of pork back bone, about 400g of kimchi (the cabbage kind), 3 small potatos, 1/2 carrot, 1 pack of enoki mushrooms, 2 red asian peppers, 2 green asian peppers, 1 spring onion/negi (the big ones not small ones)

Set B (Boiling Ingredients)
1 onion, 1 spring onion/negi, 5-6 cloves of garlic, 3 ginger roots, 1 tbsp of miso

Set C (Sauce)
1/2 cup of beef/fish/chicken/dashima/bonito stock water (i usually use dashima/bonito), two tbsp of korean chili powder, 1 tbsp of salt, 1 tbsp of minced garlic, a pinch of black pepper, 1 tbsp of ground sesame

Step 1

1left

immerse the pork bones into water for about half a day to get all the blood out from the bones and the meat, changing out the water 4-5 times during the process to make sure the blood doesn’t flow back into the meat.

Step 2

step 2

boil your now blood-drained pork back bones in boiling water for about 4-5 minutes.

Step 3

step 3

rinse your boiled pork back bones to make sure no sediment or other impurities from the bone are stuck on the meat.

Step 4A

step 4a

dump contents of Ingredients Set B and the back bone into a pot and boil in medium high heat for about 2-3 hours

Step 4B

step 4b

while you wait for ingredients in step 4 to come to a nice 2-3 hr boil, prepare the vegetables and other miscellaneous veggies in Ingredients Set A sans pork back bone as seen above.

Step 4C

step 4c

this is the wildcard ingredient of the recipe — be sure to clean all the little bits and pieces off the kimchi so to have just the napa cabbage before dumping it in to the pot; if you’re not a fan of kimchi, you can replace it with normal napa cabbage

Step 5

step 5

try to remove the impurities (lye) that surface to the top of the pot while boiling the vegetables/meat using either an aku-tori, spoon, or a wooden scooper.

Step 6

step 6

when you’re done boiling the ingredients, remove everything from the pot except for the soup and the meat/bones and dump in the ingredients you set aside in Steps 4B-4C and Ingredient Set C

Step 7

step 7

bring Step 6 to a boil until everything is nicely mixed together as seen above, and you’re done.

Citizenship in a Post-Social Contract World

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A popular idea in the science of politics is that the role of the government is like that of a Hobbesian Leviathan—in which all humans live in an anarchic “state of nature” where individuals are forced to engage in a bellum omnium contra omnes—and the government as the mystical, yet all-powerful creature, offers contractual security to those citizens weary and unable to fend for themselves, on the condition that they be willing to give up some of their (civil) liberties. This concept of a social contract, however, is becoming defunct in a world where market societies and nation-states take center stage, as observed by Margaret Somers who contends in her article reflecting the status quo of citizenship in 21st century that such ideas can no longer be accepted as commonplace in a world in which individuals are afforded the “rights to have rights” as a foundational right of citizenship.

The rise of modern liberalism and the civil society made way for the idea of “natural rights,” which states that all humans, regardless of their ethnicity or allegiance to government, are birthed are entitled to a basic set of rights as human beings. Somers notes that this form of “human rights”—or “Rights of Man” as she quotes/calls it—is threatened by the contractualization and commodification of citizenship , a process many governments of nation-states have been undergoing as a ways of consolidating the social contract with the needs of the modern world.

The core of Somers’ argument surrounds an Arendtian manifesto which states that human personhood is distinguished from biological life by membership in an organized political body and full citizenship in a nation-state , and that individuals can be and have been deprived of such personhood by their respective governing bodies and rendered “stateless” in cases where contractual citizenship fail to consolidate with the nation-state.

Somers provides two major examples of such cases which outlines the heterogeneity of the social contract and the nation-state politics. The first is that of post-communist Eastern Europe where ethnic groups have continually been displaced and re-placed as citizens in Eastern Bloc countries such as Hungary and Czechoslovakia together with the trend of the (majority) ethnos ruling over the demos, which Somers refers to as an unstable marriage which has historically made up the unity of the nation-state ; the second example is that of Third Reich Germany where an ethnic majority was successfully able to confer all political power into a government ruled by the majority, in an act which effectively stripped and deprived a specific ethnic minority of all rights and claims in both society and politics.

In both examples of what in terms of human rights were disastrous chapters of human history, the ethnos rule over the demos combined with a distorted form of the social contract provided an unmistakable monopoly of political rights and power to the majority in power. In the case of the Eastern Bloc, many nation-states such as Czechoslovakia and Romania experienced continuous regime change as ethnic groups continuously struggled for political dominance, which saw the political alignment (i.e. from communism to something other than communism) and official language of a few nation-states continually shift back and forth over brief intervals of time effectively stripping and re-issuing citizenship to ethnic groups every time a different ethnic majority came to power. The case of Nazi Germany harbored a more lethal outcome than that of the Eastern Bloc as the ethnic majority in power systematically stripped the minority of their citizenship and turn them into “stateless” peoples , and committed a mass genocide of that minority under the justification that “stateless” peoples who have been expelled from a political community would “no longer induce social recognition,” and thus provoke repulsion in even the most liberal of states.

A third example of the social contract’s failure to adapt to the modern nation-state hits a little closer to home in pre-19th century America, where the ethnic majority debunked an entire minority group as second-class citizens and placed them under forced servitude to the ethnic majority. Setting aside the technicalities of neither ethnic groups being indigenous to the nation-state in question and the fact that the ethical standards of slavery back then did not quite live up to those of today, the “principles of political freedom and of natural justice” were not extended to the then second-class citizens , and instead the second-class citizens were made to suffer injustices purely because of their status as the distinguishable ethnic minority; Frederick Douglass recounts in a speech given on a Fourth of July that the injustice suffered by the minorities were so great that no nation measured up to the United States who were “guilty of practices more shocking and bloody.”

Whereas the security-liberty tradeoff as introduced by the social contract is a sensible concept and is still being employed to various degrees by governments and nation-states all around the world, examples in modern political history shows that contractual citizenship does not bode well with the idea of “natural rights” and the “right to have rights” as it requires the conferring of the monopoly of violence (and through that extent political power and rights) to the government—in a world where civil society mandates that all humans are born with inalienable human rights which cannot be stripped by any form of power or governing body, the ability of being able to confer those inalienable rights to a higher form of power seems anomalous, if not contradictory to the idea itself.